It is important for me to mention that your information is private and confidential unless you express a desire to harm yourself or others. This is a situation where I would have to ask authorities to step in. Your safety and others safety is of utmost importance.
I am not a counselor or therapist. If needed have access to a network of professionals that can help and support you in that capacity if needed. I will refer you to them if I feel your needs are beyond my experience.